"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." - Pablo Picasso
I've always been inspired by children.
They have this unspoiled spark of wonder about them. It's what drives them to try new things, be creative, and pursue their passions.
A child lives in a constant state of flow. Unaffected by outside perspectives.
That is, of course, until social conditioning begins.
As children mature, parents, teachers, friends, coaches, and other influences teach them how to operate in society.
They start becoming self-aware of their place in the world. They're told the things they should and shouldn't do.
And they start down the conveyor belt of life...
1. Go through the education system
2. Join the workforce
3. Start a family
4. Climb the career ladder
5. Retire
6. Die
In short, you're taught to grow up.
Those childlike dreams of becoming a musician, writer, or artist get replaced with becoming an accountant, lawyer, or analyst.
You have to be realistic, they say.
Break the Cycle
Social conditioning isn't evil. Learning the rules, social etiquette, and basic education is 100% necessary for society to continue functioning.
The problem is once children step on the conveyor belt, the vast majority never get off.
They live on autopilot, mindlessly following this predetermined path laid out for them by society.
And to be honest, you can't blame them.
Humans didn't evolve to live in our modern world with infinite choices. Instead, we're hardwired to seek social approval and live in tribes of around 150 people.
So of course most people end up doing what their parents, peers, and professors want them to do.
• It's safe.
• It's comfortable.
• It's what everyone else is doing.
But quite inherently, it's a life lived for others. It's not your life.
A Game of Unlearning
"Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist." - Picasso
If you want to maximize your life experience, you need to step off the conveyor belt and start walking your own path.
This is much easier said than done. Why?
• It's risky.
• It's uncomfortable.
• It's the opposite of what everyone else is doing.
At least that's what you're taught to believe.
The truth is, not taking this risk is the biggest risk of them all. Staying in your comfort zone of the status quo is a slippery slope into a lifetime of mediocrity.
If you're following the same path as everyone else, how could you ever expect to stand out?
When it comes to dating, income, and lifestyle, you'll be average. A commodity. Uninteresting. The product of a system.
Life is too precious to live that way.
The trick to overcoming your fears of creating your dream life is to realize it's all a game of unlearning.
For example, I had to unlearn the idea that college follows high school in order to take a gap year to travel the world.
I was the only kid in my high school class who took one. Many of my friends didn't understand it. But it was the most transformational year of my life.
In 9 months, I traveled to 15 countries across 5 continents.
I made lifelong friendships, experienced extraordinary events, and learned priceless lessons that forever changed the course of my life.
It's the greatest decision I've ever made. My fellow gap year friends all say the same.
Yet, less than 3% of Americans ever pursue such a life-changing path. Why?
Because it's not part of the conveyor belt of life.
To make that decision, I had to reason independently from society to realize I'd rather pursue travel instead of going straight to university.
The same goes for unlearning what career success looks like.
Let's imagine you quit a high-paying job you don't enjoy to pursue something more aligned with your interests...
Your family might think you're walking away from a dream career. Your coworkers will think you're a fool.
But the opportunity cost of not doing so is too massive.
People are making millions by:
• Playing video games on livestreams.
• Filming YouTube videos of their travels.
• Writing about their interests on Twitter.
• Hosting podcasts with their best friends.
• Working 2-3 hour days from tropical beaches.
...among millions of other ways to make money via the internet.
There's never been a better time in human history to start your own creative career. The only fool is the one who doesn't take advantage.
And the only thing standing in your way of this dream life is your social conditioning. Here's how to unlearn it...
The Lifestyle Design Framework
1. Spend more time alone.
If you feel the need to be around people 24/7, you'll never have any time to think for yourself. You need to spend time alone so you can think, critically think, about what you want from life.
If you can't stand the thought of being alone, try to:
• Read
• Exercise
• Meditate
• Walk in nature
• Listen to podcasts
These habits will train you to become happy on your own. And if you can do that, you're already more successful than most in my book.
Alone time gives you the space to breathe, to discover yourself, and to find clarity in your life direction.
Away from the noise and influence of society.
"Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone." - Alan Watts
2. Future project all your habits and activities.
For everything you do on a consistent basis, ask yourself:
If I continue on this path for the next 5, 10, 30 years, will it lead to my ideal lifestyle?
A few examples to reflect upon:
• If you drink a lot of alcohol, you won't age gracefully.
• If you spend your free time scrolling social media and watching TV, you'll lose control over your ability to focus on important things.
• If you hang out with toxic people, you'll adopt their toxic traits (you're the average of your 5 closest friends).
• If you continue climbing the corporate ladder, you'll never achieve the independence you desire.
Look into the future. Is that really who you want to become?
3. For every timeline you don't love, cut or minimize that habit.
This is the real, tangible step of unlearning your societal conditioning. So it's going to be the hardest.
Society has taught you to believe getting wasted every weekend, climbing the corporate ladder, and spending countless hours on technology every day is what you want.
But by spending time alone and looking into the future, you'll know deep down if you want to continue on such a path.
Use this willpower to go cold turkey or taper off from this programmed lifestyle.
• Frequent the bars less often.
• Decline invites from toxic people.
• Pursue mentally active hobbies over passive media consumption.
• Use company time to explore alternative career paths.
This is much easier said than done. But it's essential for achieving your desired lifestyle.
Hint: Learning to be happy alone aids in this process.
4. Replace your old lifestyle with the systems of a new one.
Once you wean off your old lifestyle, you'll discover you have lots of free time on your hands. Use this newfound time to take action towards your dream lifestyle by building systems.
Successful and unsuccessful people both have the same goals. The differentiator comes in the execution of systems.
Want to be a writer? Write every day.
A YouTube filmmaker? Film every day.
A photographer? Shoot every day.
In my experience, buying online courses accelerates this process.
Why?
• You get access to a network of like-minded people.
• You receive streamlined, valuable information.
• Putting up money forces you to commit.
Sign a contract with yourself: I'm going to pursue this until it works out.
And as long as you're consistent and iterate upon your past work, your dream lifestyle is a guaranteed outcome.
It's only a matter of when, not if.
Cheers,
Matt Milos
P.S. If you're looking for help pursuing your dream lifestyle... I can build you a Twitter audience of 2,000 high-quality monetizable followers in 3 months or I work for you for free until you get 2,500. Fill out this form to see if you'd be a good fit:
